Stuck in the Middle with You

 

It is a big picture because it has made me think a lot.

This past Sunday, Peanut and I went with our church to visit another church outside of Barranquilla to celebrate their anniversary. We went on a big school bus singing songs and enjoying the wind in our hair. We wound up sitting by ourselves, but there were several empty seats and my long legs have trouble fitting, so we spread out a little. We all piled off to join the worship service that was ready to start, and Peanut and I settled ourselves on the floor so she could move around and not climb over everyone.

At 9th (our home church), Peanut gets special attention. All the kids are loved and cooed over, but everyone remembers Peanut's name, she made it on a new church banner, and she just does get something extra. Still, she is a known quantity. She is not new.

At Pital, she was new. She sat with my quietly keeping an eye on what was going on for a while. It is her way. We do not call her "the Observadora" for nothing. Still, after getting a handle on things, she inevitably makes her move. There are probably 30 kids or more at Pital, and they sit in kid-sized plastic chairs in the very front of the sanctuary, and Peanut decided she was going to go hang with them for a little while. There was not a place to sit (and she can't really climb up into a chair on her own so well yet), so she just stood in the aisle. From my spot in the back I saw hands begin to stretch out from chairs on all sides to touch her skin or her hair. At one point she had 5 sets of hands on her somewhere. She took it all in stride - walking back toward me when it was a little too much, but returning again to give it another go.

After the service we went to a church member's home to eat a big stew and share some fellowship time before heading back to Barranquilla. While the food was finishing we all sat together talking and playing ice-breaker games. Peanut hung out in my lap for a bit (watching), then made her move again. I took the picture above just to capture my sweet bean in the midst of so many kids, but after taking it I couldn't help but catch my breath. She is in the middle of everyone, but she isn't a part of anything. 

You may think it is a lot to put on one picture, but it was more the catalyst that put lots of pieces together for me than a commentary on this single moment. It is representative of a lot of Peanut's life, and of our lives, quite frankly. The thing is, we chose this adventure - Peanut, not so much. Right now it doesn't really matter. Peanut is little and she simply feels special I think, so the extra long looks, the patting of her skin, the remarks about her hair or her eyes don't make her self-conscious or worry her like they do me sometimes. I know that when people get to know her, they will love Peanut for the person she is because that is just how it works. Still, some day she will come to me with slightly sad and truly confused eyes and ask me why it is that people treat her differently (even if sometimes it is that they treat her "better"), and why can't she just be like everyone else.

None of this is to discount her privilege in this place, nor our own, but it is to say that same privilege can extract someone from community rather than bond them into it. And so somehow she is in the middle and on the margins at the same time. It is a funny place to be. It might be okay to visit, but I am thinking hard about how or whether she can live there.

Mmmmmm!

As I mentioned in my last post, Peanut eats pretty much anything you put in front of her.

A few things before your viewing pleasure begins:

• Though it does not come up in this video, I would like to note that Peanut has gotten very good at saying a polite and calm "No" if she doesn't want what is on the menu or she has had enough of something (which is nice because she used to just open her mouth anyway and then spit everything back out which was a lot ickier). 

•  She has also gotten pretty good at using her fork as you will see, though hands do still play heavily into the mix depending on the meal options.  

• Though my 7th grade pre-algebra teacher taught me that the 11th Commandment was "Thou shalt not divide by zero," I think Peanut might argue that it is "You cannot blow on your food enough, or even on your fork enough frankly." It is probably more likely to show up in a biblical interpretation rather than in an actual translation.

• We did in fact save the absolute best for last. Nothing makes a mama feel better than a big old "Mmmmmmm!"

November?

Yeah, evidently I kind of missed November...and half of December. I think I might be good in the sprints rather than being a marathoner...except that I don't actually run at all. Whatever.

Part of what I find is that I will have a day or two with nothing really worth noting, and then *blammo* 23 days in a row in which I should note how tremendously awesome Peanut is and how she makes me laugh and shocks my socks off every day, but if I miss that first day...it's all over. Since I totally still owe you baptism and birthday part 3 posts, then I have been that much more computer averse. Did I mention I am an avoider? Yeah, again, whatever. 

To get back on the saddle again, I am just going to post some quick Peanut facts:

1. She now has upwards of twenty words. All are in Spanish except "bye" for which she also says "chao." They include: 

Tía Mala, aka Acky

•  bravo - while clapping, often at the end of a solid mama written and performed number. This is clearly my favorite word, for what I think is an  obvious reason.

• luna - impressive particularly because she seems to have it straight that luna refers to both the moon and the dog across the street. This is her Papi's favorite word.

• nano - for banano. The trick is figuring out whether she actually wants a banana, or if she is merely pointing out the banana and making clear she knows what it is. Mama trick learning is ongoing. I have eaten many bananas.

• acky - for Jacky, or Tía Mala (Bad Aunt - more on this another time), our next door neighbor. Jacky would like me to point out that my last update of Peanut's words should have included this word as well. Jacky would actually like me to say that it was her first word, though that is possibly a complete lie.

• vamos - almost always said with great conviction. She will look at you and say "Let's go!" and head directly to the door. the fact that she has on only a diaper is not an issue.

2. The Nutter eats basically everything.

I know that this will change at some point, and I will likely pine away on this very blog about the "way things used to be," but for now let me just say that my girl can eat. She eats little cooked broccoli trees (and gives a hearty "yuuuummmmm"), auyama (kind of like sweet potato), green beans, black-eyed peas, chicken, open-faced tuna fish sandwiches with pineapple and melted cheese (hey, she asked...), creamed spinach, pumpkin pie, raisin bran, soft-boiled eggs, obviously I could go on and on. The part you should actually be impressed with is that she does it with FOUR TEETH. I mean really, with all this intake, don't you think they deserve friends? 

On a different note, I am greatly heartened by the variety and quality of my potential future meals when all my teeth have departed.

3. We dropped the bottle at her birthday.  

Now she  only drinks from cups (usually with a straw). While there are many things I miss when they go, that is not one of them.

4. She has started her campaign to be Queen of Carnaval.

Each year just before Lent begins, there is Carnaval. In Barranquilla the season of Carnaval basically begins at 12:01am on New Year's Day and from then on there are parties, dancing, and appearances by the Queen. The Queen of Carnaval is a highly coveted honor, usually given to children of wealthy families (nothing too surprising there). Though Peanut was born in Barranquilla, she does not have Colombian citizenship (long story), so that counts as one more strike against her. She, however, is undeterred. 

Deciding that if the odds are high then one must simply work harder, Peanut stops to greet every person (and dog, and cat, etc) when out on a walk. In the land of "Hola Vecina!" (Howdy neighbor! - mostly to cover up the fact that no one actually knows your name), everyone calls out to Peanut by name. She stops to wave at the ladies in Bible study at the back of the Catholic church. She always walks onto Doña Olivia's patio. She makes sure to wave to Carlos, and she often stops to watch the guys at the gym. Even better is that they stop too. One moment, pumping iron and looking tough. The next minute, five guys in sleeveless t-shirts googly-eyed and waving at the little girl on the sidewalk. Wish I had a picture of that to put up here.

5. Peanut looks up a lot.

I notice not only because I get to sneak in kisses under her chin when she does it, but also because she often loses her balance if she is standing and looking up at the same time. It reminds me of how little we all look up actually. Go ahead, do it. It's okay. 

Here's to being back in the saddle, to the ride, and to the marvelous view...be back soon.