Helpful Hints

New parents - heck, probably any parents - are subject to loads of advice.  In general I am quite appreciative.  I recognize that I do not know what I am doing, and I am glad for the suggestions and opinions of others.  Clearly my instruction manual for Peanut got lost in the mail (maybe it's just delayed, mail here does take at least 3 weeks to arrive), so while we wait for it, I am glad for folks who are interested in helping us out.

Still, there are some tips that strike me as less necessary.  They are the kind of things that make you wonder who has done this unrecommended thing in order to warrant such specific advice.  It is sort of like the "Do Not Eat" warnings plastered on the white packets you find in your box of new shoes.  I mean, at one point did the manufacturers put Tootsie Rolls or anything that you should eat as some sort of extra prize in your shoe box?  That this warning exists is proof that someone opened that sucker up and tossed it back and consequently had their tongue shrivel up inside their mouth or their tonsils crawl up their throat and jump out or whatever happens when one does upend that little white packet as if it were a foot wear appetizer.   

Seriously though, there are a lot of things that I would like to know and I think someone should probably have let me know before they let me roll on out of the hospital.  Instead, this is just a sample of the helpful hints we have gotten since we started this adventure...

1. It is true that Peanut gets the hiccups all the time.  They look like they absolutely wrack her little body, but they don't seem to bother her at all.  Still, when a Baby Center email popped up with a hotlink to "Is it normal for my baby to hiccup all the time?", I figured what the heck...let's look at that.  In general the small article there confirmed that this was all quite normal and one should not worry, but also offered this sage wisdom...

* Don't try to cure hiccups by startling your baby, pressing on her eyeballs, pushing on her fontanel, or pulling her tongue, which are common folk remedies in some cultures.  There's no proof that any of these methods work, and you could hurt your baby in the process.  

Well, okay.  I had considered delving into her soft spot or sneaking up on her and scaring the hell out of her...but now I won't.  Thanks Baby Center.  Luckily getting her to hold her breath or drink water upside down is still totally on the table.

2.  I was reading about baby reflexes in one of the many books we now have.  (Your Baby's First Year from the American Academy of Pediatrics, p.184)  After talking about the grasping reflex in which you stroke the palm of your baby's hand and she immediately grips your finger, it makes sure to warn you:

* In the first few days after birth, your baby's grasp will be so strong that it may seem she can hold her own weight -- but don't try it.  She has no control over this response and may let go suddenly.

Seriously who is lifting their child by their hands on Day 3?  

3.  And finally, for some in-person advice, at her first check-up our pediatrician, Dr. Farrah, was doing the normal (I suppose) routine examination when he got to two spots on her chest right around her nipples.  

He said, "Do you feel these knots?"  

"Yes...," said Peanut's mother with fear and trembling that she was about to hear how we had to watch that 

               these did not grow into cancerous lumps or begin to sprout vines or turn red and pussy.  
"These are her mammary glands.  Don't pinch them."

Ohhhhhh, okay.  Don't tweak her nipples.  Check.  I guess by the transitive property of stupidity we can't try to have her hang by her nipples either...


Feel free to leave comments with some actually useful advice, or pass along some of your zingers.  I love this stuff.

Don't Hold Your Breath Either

It seems that Peanut is taking his/her claim on Colombia (and Colombian time) very seriously because it seems super unlikely that we will have any big events on Tuesday.  I know that due dates are always estimates, and this one perhaps even more than most given that there has always been a little uncertainty on where we should even peg the supposed date in the first place.  All I'm saying is...I wouldn't hold your breath.

When we went to the OB office on Friday there was no contraction in sight on the monitor and zero dilation, hence, Peanut is unlikely to make an appearance on the 21st.  The good news is that the hemorrhoids are way down, no pain, and I am allowed to walk around more now.  Way to go on the shrinking songs/prayers etc. y'all!  Don't stop now though, this ain't over yet.

2 Kg in 2 Weeks...Do Not Try this at Home

I am officially no longer worried about Peanut's weight gain.  

For the first 7 1/2 months I had a pretty low-key belly.  Through at least 6 1/2 months it often depended on what I was wearing as to whether folks even thought I had anything going on around there or not.  This was not good news for bus rides, but otherwise I just took it as par for the course for me.  I was a little worried because all the books say that you should gain around 25 lbs over the course of your pregnancy (more or less, of course), and they spoke of 2 lbs a month (with extra toward the end).  

I recognize now that this was perhaps a mere mathematical trick, trying to make it seem like there was a logical progression to this whole pregnancy gig.  Still, I was nervous because having started out at about 62 kg, I was only at 68 kg even just two weeks ago.  I must say that until I was all preoccupied with my weight gain, kilograms had virtually no meaning to me.  All I knew is that everything sounds heavier in kilos, no matter what.  I now know that a kg is approximately 2.2 lbs, so having gained only 6 of them for a whopping 13 pounds in basically 8 months was a little unnerving.  After all, how was I going to be anywhere near 25 recommended pounds in just another month?

Well, Peanut has the last laugh. 

Yesterday I went to the OB's office basically two weeks after my last appointment.  I stepped on the scale, and BAM!  70 kilograms.  Holy cramoley.  I gained 2 whole kilos in just 2 weeks.  Given that it took me 8 months to gain 6...let's just say Peanut is not to be underestimated.  Onward and outward!

Heads Down, Thumbs Up

Holy Cramoley, did you people see that the Peanut's Progress ticker on our website says Peanut is now the size of a watermelon??  Good Lord.  Okay, taking a deep breath...

We are now officially under two months until the due date (Sept 21)!  We went to our OB/GYN appointment this week and all continues to be well.  My blood pressure is still 100/60, my weight is now 66.7 kilos (it just sounds impressive in kilos I think, but that is about 147 pounds), but the big news is that Peanut's head is down and his/her space is probably cramped enough that it will stay that way (or at least that is our hope).  Woohoo!  The funny thing is, I feel most of the "kicking" down where I now know Peanut's head is.  Does that mean I already have a head banger on my hands??

At any rate, when we were in her office Dra. Lucia said that I was her best patient (leaving us to wonder just how many best patients one can have...but I digress).  It was just comforting to hear that things were still going well, especially after our trip to Urabá.  There is a lot more to write about that trip (and it will come, both here and on Called to Colombia), but in short I will say that it was challenging.  I love that area of Colombia, and in many ways it is my favorite presbytery, but the church there is more rural and much more impoverished.  Folks offered us remarkable hospitality (and loved talking about "Maní" - Peanut in Spanish), but at every turn we were surreptitiously passing by the kitchen to see if the juice was being made with purified water or finding things to put my feet up on so they would not swell so much with the heat.  Coming back to Barranquilla to hear Peanut's regular 140 beat heart and to hear that whatever aches and pains I was feeling seemed perfectly normal was very good to hear.

I am now back in Barranquilla to stay until Peanut makes her/his debut.  Feet are up.  Fan is on.  Life is good.

The Better to See You with my Dear...

For Richard's birthday we gave him an ultrasound so that that Peanut could send greetings on Papi's special day.  We went to a different place than we have gone before, and it turned out to be a 3D sonogram - and we didn't even have to wear the glasses!  Dang but those things are amazing.  We could count fingers and toes, see eyes, ears, nose, all sorts of stuff  (though we tried very hard not to see some stuff as we are waiting to find out whether Peanut is a boy or a girl until her/his birthday.  I figure, gotta have some reason to keep pushing...).  

It is not common here to wait to find out the sex of your child.  Not only do folks here ask us all the time, the doctor himself could not believe we didn't want to know.  He would stop the Doppler wand in places he seemed to think very telling, but I think we did a mix of not looking and of not actually knowing what was going on.  It turns out that even with clear pictures it is not always evident what you are looking at if you are not trained to see it.  Still, he had to have asked us minimally 5 times if we were sure we wanted to wait to find out, and of course he was kind enough to add how very strange it was that we didn't want to know.  Thanks...  

Given the nature of the Spanish language, it is also challenging to keep the secret because all adjectives have a male and female form.  If the baby is "pretty" it is either "lind-O" for a boy or "lind-A" for a girl.  If fat, "gord-O" or "gord-A."  To complicate things at least a bit (which is helpful if you don't want the big answer), the word for baby is "el bebé" - masculine - so that even if you have a girl the doctor might say you have "un bebé muy activ-O."  I must say that with all those factors working against us, we will not be surprised if someone spills the beans ahead of time, but we are doing our best to not know.

Below are some shots/videos for your viewing pleasure.  Remember, if you feel like you have figured out, we still don't want to know.  :)  

A 3D Peanut at 21 Weeks from Richard Williams on Vimeo.

At week 21 (we think), it looks like Peanut is doing just fine - good spinal column, good cerebral blood flow, very tumbly.  Also already showing us that Dad's traits are strong because after a little while s/he started hiding from the photos.  "Enough of the paparazzi people!"  

(In case you can't tell, Peanut's head is facing left with a hand over the eyes toward the top/middle of the photo.)

So while at the end of our appointment we saw a lot of Peanut's ears, I must say, they are some good looking ears...

A Tale of Two Doctors Visits

It was the closest to a visit to a US doctor´s office I have had.  It was the farthest from a visit to a US doctor´s office I have had. 

I have already written some about one of my trips to the family doctor, but that visit was put into even starker relief after having gone to the OB/GYN office yesterday.

We were all ready to go the OB/GYN office on Tuesday when we got a call saying the doctor had an emergency and had to cancel.  Because she has a solo practice this is perfectly understandable (after all, if I have an emergency I darn well want her to cancel a simple office visit with someone else), but we were really looking forward to meeting Doctora Lucia and deciding whether she would be "the one" for us.  (The good news is, our rescheduled appointment for today went off without a hitch, and we think she will be great.)  Even this simple start (or mis-start) began our notes to self...

N2S: Dra Lucia -

1. Takes appointments, therefore can call when she will not be available for said appointment.

So on Wednesday we hopped in a cab to go to our appointment, and when we arrived we seemed to be in a sort of medical district of sorts.  It is very common to have areas of the city devoted to particular businesses, so this made sense, it is just that our previous experience with this idea included the "area where you go to hire a mariachi band" or the "area where you can find rockers and gliders for sale on the street".  At any rate, the address was a buildng that said Continental Medical Center and had a number of offices within it along with clinic/lab on the first floor. 

N2S: Clinic/Lab -

2. Neither doctor´s office takes any lab specimens themselves (only blood pressure, weight and temperature), but with Dra Lucia you can walk downstairs and go to a lab that will email you the results while a trip to a separate clinic is required for any tests with Dra. Lilia.

As we sat in the air conditioned waiting room for our appointment we watched a flat screen, high definition TV until the receptionst called my name and took down all my information and put it into a computer.  After the nurse took my medical history we went in to see the doctor who spoke English with us, put our telephone numbers into her iPhone and proceeded to tell us that it would be fine if we chose to have the baby in the States, she would not be offended, as many of her patients chose to do so.

N2S:  Whoa buddy -

3. Toto, we are not in Kansas anymore.

After lots of questions about her philosophy regarding natural birth vs. cesareans (the rate for c-sections in Colombia is quite high, though not really far different from the US these days) and episiotemies, about birthing classes and what the atmosphere for delivery would be, we went into her (separate) examination room.  She did a sonogram in her office (lower resolution, but hey) and assured us all looked good so far.

Of course the other big difference was the payment on the way out.  At Dra. Lilia´s office we pay $10,000 COP per consult (that´s around $5 USD).  Wednesday we shelled out $140,000 COP ($70 USD) for the privilege of said air conditioning, flat screen, iPhone, and computer.  Give a little, take a little more...  Still, we are glad for the kindness and capability of both doctors.  We are glad for the continuing reports of good health for Peanut.  And we are glad for the mixture/gamut of experiences we are having that reflect well the tensions and variations of life for people in Colombia.

(As a side note, in trying to find photos for this post, there were remarkably few - and I avoid saying zero only because I am not totally positive - pictures of doctors when I google just doctor.  Lady doctor...why have to do that?)

April Checkup

Today we went back to the doctor's office for our monthly checkup, and all seems to be well.  We have a really nice doctor that I like a lot, but the visits are pretty different than those I might expect if I were going to my doctor in the United States.  We are also going to a more "popular" clinic than we might in the States (popular in Colombia referring more to folks with lower economic resources), so my comparisons are not particularly equivalent as I have always had private, insurance-covered health care.

I could name a variety of things that strike me as odd or just distinctive, but I think the main difference for me revolves around time.  In the United States my doctor made appointments.  She did not always manage to get me in at the precise time we scheduled, but she was always within shouting distance, and I only had to read People magazine for 15 minutes or so before someone attended to me.  Here, Dr. Lily does not take people by appointment.  It is strictly first come, first serve.  Hence, if you show up at 10am when her office hours begin on Saturday, you could easily wait until 11:45am before you even get into her office.  It all depends on how many other people showed up to see her on that day.

What struck me most today about this was how annoyed I could get just waiting there.  Rather than just sigh loudly, I started to think about what was so frustrating to me.  After all, it is not as if she suddenly changed the system on me, and it is not as if I had anything particularly pressing to do -- I was simply perturbed at having to wait.

And then I remembered going to the VA clinic with a homeless guest from Room in the Inn in Nashville and waiting the better part of the morning.  I thought about how much longer it takes us to catch the bus rather than find a taxi to get to and from work.  I thought about the hours-long line one can find at the emergency room or the day-long journey to get social services in Chicago for someone needing help from First United's Walk-In Ministry, or here in Barranquilla the mountain of people outside the stadium here when the government gives out a measly $30,000 COP ($15 USD) subsidy to families from lower economic backgrounds, and I realized that I was irritated because I have always had enough money to avoid such waiting.  Being poor (which, let's be clear, Richard and I are not) takes time.

It was a good reminder that I remain a deeply privileged person, and that such privilege rears its head in all sorts of forms - including internal disconnects when I choose not to exercise that privilege.  Don't worry about Peanut.  I have total confidence in Dr. Lily, and I am glad that someone of her care and quality attends to people in more difficult circumstances, as well as to privileged North Americans like myself.  And when we finally did get in to see her, she was pleased by how much Peanut seems to have grown and we were tickled to hear 140 beats per minute from our still en-stomached friend.

We have our first official obstetrician-gynecologist visit/interview on Tuesday, so keep up the good thoughts!