Rosalba

Probably you figured out that this is not a real tiger.

We have talked about our trips to the zoo in the past, but this is not so much about the zoo as it is the people with us at the zoo. The photo above is missing Rosalba, who is the link between us, but don't worry, there is a picture of her below.

About a year and a half ago we entered into what is possibly a most typical missionary dilemmas - do you hire someone to help you around the house? We do not have a big apartment, and for a year and a half we managed just fine. Okay, let's be honest - Richard managed just fine as he cleaned and I read him books (best.arrangement.ever). After Nora was born, however, we were feeling a little overwhelmed. We weren't sure what we were doing (and we had not yet acclimated to that perpetual reality), we were dead-dog tired, and we weren't feeling up to the challenge of the daily January dirt dusting that comes with the blessed breezes of the North Coast. In talking through things with someone from the church, she suggested Rosalba just come by and give us a hand one day.

I have never seen a person clean so thoroughly as Rosalba did that day. I have heard tell of people moving furniture to clean before, but I have not really had them take every item out of my kitchen cabinets, wipe down each item along with all the shelves, and replace everything (resulting in fun hide and seek games once she left, but whatever). Perhaps even this seems normal to you, but may I just show you one picture which further underscores my point? That cow (which is our water filter) had spots before Rosalba came. I am not kidding you. Richard painted spots on that cow with what we considered to be permanent marker. That was evidently inaccurate. When she left that day (approximately 10 hours later...) we marveled at how clean our home could be. We relaxed. We walked around barefoot. We went to bed early. We were hooked.

Rosalba

Rosalba usually comes once every 2-3 weeks (or just before our parents come to visit) to get the deep down clean that our (Richard's) sweep and mop doesn't quite cover. Over time we have gotten to be friends. I am finally not just "Señora" with a name too hard to remember. I have heard about her life and she has lived some of mine as she has watched Peanut grow up from 4 months on. I think the first real break was when we invited Rosalba and her two youngest daughters to the Nutter's birthday, getting that same invitation in return to her grandson's first birthday this past February. Every time she comes I make us all breakfast and for lunch she either tries out "an adventure" (read: what we usually eat at home), or I go buy something for us at the corner store that is more immediately recognizable.  Each of her kids has come to our house with her and played with Peanut, to her everlasting delight. We are grateful for their presence in our life.

And yet...because isn't there always an "and yet" to a dilemma?

And yet, Rosalba works for us. Can't get around that. She does not come clean out of the goodness of her heart (why would you do that?), and, apart from the meals we fix, we do not help her out while she is sweeping, wiping, mopping, etc. We have the luxury of paying her to come do what she also has to do at her own house because...well, it is her house. We live fairly simply, yet with a "home computer" and a "work/travel computer" while her kids (she notes) don't even know how to turn one on. We pay her better than she expects to be paid, but again, we can. We took she and her family out to the zoo just to have fun, because we can. 

I am not putting the dilemma forward very clearly I don't think, but it revolves around whether, if you can, you choose to ask someone else to come in and do work that you could do, or not. If not, we would have never met Rosalba or her wonderful kids. Peanut would have a smaller world, whether she knew it or not. And sure, Rosalba and her family would not have the still meager income we provide her twice a month. But because we do are in each other's lives doesn't mean we can pretend that making breakfast or a birthday invitation puts us on equal footing in the world or that other choices we make (or don't) serve to maintain or even widen the gap between us. 

And yet...we will still treasure our trip to the zoo

We are ostriches, can't you tell?

Peanut Program at Progresar

Our neighbors, the Smiths, are the greatest blessing we could possibly have here in Colombia. They have been family to us and helped us navigate this whole parenting thing in innumerable ways. They have taken us to appointments, brought us the occasional meal, invited us to holiday gatherings, and taken Peanut away from us for a few hours to make all of us better people - to name just a few. We could not be more grateful for all they do for us.

So, you can imagine that we were all ears when Fanny came to ask if we would do her a favor. "¡Con mucho gusto! ¿Cómo te podemos servir?" With pleasure! How can we be of service?

After having worked in a bank for many years, Fanny decided to follow her true passion and go into education. Rather than becoming a teacher, however, Fanny decided to open her own school. It is called "Progress", and is located in the town adjacent to Barranquilla, Soledad. The center has both a pre-school and a primary school and serves a vulnerable population of kids on a shoestring budget. We had been invited to visit a couple of times, and I even gave the reflection at last year's graduation service. The school is Fanny's passion, and she takes it very, very seriously.

"Could you do me a favor? It has to do with the school", she said.

"Oh, sure. What do you need? How can we help?"

"Well, I was just wondering...would you all allow me to use Peanut's name as the name of the program I want to start for the kids to help them develop their values and strengthen them as people?"

"Umm...yeah. Sure. Wow."

"Thank you."

That is what we could do for Fanny. She loves Peanut so much that she wants to make sure that she is remembered whether she is around this place or not. She wants to to have Peanut's name on a program for her kids so that Peanut will always know she was important to her. So no, thank you Fanny. Thank you. 

Birthday Baptism Bash - Part 2

Birthday 2 - The Day After, and the Day Before

Though we began our celebrations on the actual day of Peanut's birth, there was too much goodness (and too many presents) to be contained in one mere day. 

We only opened two presents on the day, so the 23rd and 24th were spent mostly doling out the birthday love from abuelos, tías, tíos, amigos, and more. We basically opened two presents in the morning and two in the afternoon because more than that and Peanut started getting a little wacky. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the biggest hit was still the bag and tissue paper. Luckily one-year-olds don't know or don't care that you are using the same two bags for every single present...

Before this grand occasion, Peanut had a number of books a few stuffed animals, and a little cube of toys. We felt like she had enough to do a toy change up, but not so much that we would be overwhelmed. Still, she was privileged. Blessed to have books; they are very expensive here. Blessed to have new things. Blessed to be the sole owner of all these things. While we have tried to give things away as she gets older, inevitably the amount of "stuff" she has is increasing. Some of it is hand-me-downs (Thank you McCavits!), but a lot isn't. We want to make sure Peanut has everything she needs to learn and grow, but we also want to remember not to get sucked in to the hype. It helps to realize that the Nutter is getting as excited about the wrapping as the present, and to realize that she can make fun and learning out of even the strangest things.

With blocks, books, and a band (oh my!), we should be all set through Christmas and beyond on gifts, but what we could not have done without was family. It would have been awesome to have everyone together, but we were thrilled to have Abuelita, Grandad, and Nanny in our midst. Peanut was so excited she even started walking for everybody...my girl's got nothing if not good timing.

The night of the 24th we made sure to get Peanut home and in bed early, but the abuelas had other plans. Jacky and Fanny invited them to go get their hair and nails done at a place nearby. I was tired (and I needed to put together the sugar high gift boxes we were giving out the next afternoon), so I chose not to go with them. Luckily, I did not miss out on the action. Why you ask? Because due to the high number of hair dryer, straightener, curler thingies that were being wielded in the beauty shop, the power blew in mid-style. Not to be daunted, our neighbors just piled everyone into their (teeny-tiny) car and brought them back to our home to finish up the job. I may get in trouble for this, but it might be worth it...

 

 

 What was worth it was the effort - on everyone's part - because the next day was big. 

I mean, big.

Birthday Baptism Bash - Part 1

Birthday 1 - The Actual Day

It started with a crown.

My mom, heretofore known as Abuelita, came the day before in order to be with Peanut on her birthday start to finish. As soon as she heard Peanut's stirrings, she ran in to sing Happy Birthday and so the celebrations began. Allowing her to finish her breakfast, in short order Abuelita had pulled this lovely topper out of her bag and Peanut went straight to royalty. 

Now I didn't think it would last. 

We can put a hat on Peanut's head to protect her from the sun, and if she is not immediately distracted that hat is off within .25 seconds. In fact, we can barely comb the girl's hair without her reaching up and grabbing to use the comb herself (which, perhaps deeply surprisingly, rarely results in combed hair). So I figured this crown, made of curly ribbon and wiry stars was a fun gesture on Abuelita's part, but one that would require some lightening fast fingers on the shutter of my camera to catch an actual photo of it on her head.

I could not have been more wrong. Peanut kept that thing on allllll day.

Sometimes she would toy with it... 

 

And once in a while she would lend it to someone else...

But by and large the girl kept that thing on all day - fascinated I tell you.

Most of the morning and early afternoon were spent doofing around (in a crown), waiting for Papi to get back from Cartagena with Nanny and Grandad. When looking at herself in the mirror got old, climbing in and out of and on top of Abuelita's suitcase became the order of the day. Because Abuelita's bedroom is also called the living room, there was not a lot of space for her to be private, but the upside was that she got to introduce Peanut to the wonders of make-up brushes.

Since Peanut's mom does not actually know what to do with a makeup brush, 

someone was going to have to step in at some point. 

 

 I will note that it is possible the lesson did not fully take as 

"brush-cap-as-musical-instrument" was an equally popular choice.

Once Nanny and Grandad arrived, we deemed it time to celebrate. And what better to celebrate with? 

Why, Cheerwine, of course. 

She looks like she just loves it, right?

 

We talked a lot about what happened a year ago on the 22nd, and noted that Peanut was way to big to return from whence she came, hard as she might try.

And even though the official party was scheduled for the 25th, no one wanted to miss out on this special day. 

We donned the birthday girl shirt and obviously requisite tutu and invited over the rest of the family. 

 So with Tía Jacky (also fondly, and very appropriately known as Tía Mala...), 

Abuelo Alex and Abuela Fanny, we cheered for the birthday bean.

Papi made a scrumptious flan, we sang, we clapped, and we laughed and laughed and laughed. 

Though the prize was well worth it, I am giving September 22, 2011 significantly higher marks than 2010.

But it ain't over yet folks. It ain't over yet.

All in the Family

It takes a village.

I was always a believer in the idea that it takes more than just parents to raise a child, but actually having a child has lit that idea up in neon, underlined it and put flashing arrows all the way around it.  We are lucky and privileged to have had visits from Abuelita Kit, Tía Laura, and Nanny and Granddad all since Peanut joined us.

Abuelita Kit (Mamie's mom) came just three days after Peanut came unshelled.  She dealt with post-partum Mama, got to watch the first bath ever, went to the first pediatrician appointment and watched full screams in action with the first vaccination.  She changed diapers and sat at the window for sun time.  She brought down a ton of stuff including the entire stock of Costco's protein bars, some Combos, Cheerwine, baby stuff galore, and she continues to scheme on how to get North Carolina barbecue into the country.  She will be the most surprised when chubbalicious Nut of the now knocks on her door in December.

 Tía Laura saw a pretty sweet snoozer, but one who was definitely putting on the pounds.  She did a ton of changing and holding as well as calming a hyperventilating  Mama who was worried she had scratched her daugher's eye thus partially blinding her for life (the Legume is fine).  She had the chance to see a little bit of Peanut's hometown, but most of the time she just hung out and shnuzzled on the sweetest and best Williams-side-of-the-family niece in existence.  She will get to introduce Peanut to her kids, the nutty cousins when we visit in January.

Nanny and Granddad (Richard's parents) just left this week, and man we were sad to see them go!  Granddad is an expert sleep inducer with a back of steel and arms like springs.  Nanny is a Jane of all trades who did a little of everything, including taking care of Mami and Papi!  They went on Peanut's first voyage (to Cartagena), lived through the ups and downs of a 5-6 week old, and caught the first real smiles being given away.  We even got to spend Nanny's birthday with her.  It was a treat!  They are glad to have  a January visit on the books, but are a little nervous about when they get to see her after that!

 Now it seems real life begins and we are really on our own.  So far we are making it, but dang I enjoyed my village!  Thanks to all of you for taking the time, spending the money, and spreading the love to us and to the newest family nut.

(PS. We look forward to seeing GIT, Libby, Rob and Jean in December as well.  You all are in for quite a treat!)

April Checkup

Today we went back to the doctor's office for our monthly checkup, and all seems to be well.  We have a really nice doctor that I like a lot, but the visits are pretty different than those I might expect if I were going to my doctor in the United States.  We are also going to a more "popular" clinic than we might in the States (popular in Colombia referring more to folks with lower economic resources), so my comparisons are not particularly equivalent as I have always had private, insurance-covered health care.

I could name a variety of things that strike me as odd or just distinctive, but I think the main difference for me revolves around time.  In the United States my doctor made appointments.  She did not always manage to get me in at the precise time we scheduled, but she was always within shouting distance, and I only had to read People magazine for 15 minutes or so before someone attended to me.  Here, Dr. Lily does not take people by appointment.  It is strictly first come, first serve.  Hence, if you show up at 10am when her office hours begin on Saturday, you could easily wait until 11:45am before you even get into her office.  It all depends on how many other people showed up to see her on that day.

What struck me most today about this was how annoyed I could get just waiting there.  Rather than just sigh loudly, I started to think about what was so frustrating to me.  After all, it is not as if she suddenly changed the system on me, and it is not as if I had anything particularly pressing to do -- I was simply perturbed at having to wait.

And then I remembered going to the VA clinic with a homeless guest from Room in the Inn in Nashville and waiting the better part of the morning.  I thought about how much longer it takes us to catch the bus rather than find a taxi to get to and from work.  I thought about the hours-long line one can find at the emergency room or the day-long journey to get social services in Chicago for someone needing help from First United's Walk-In Ministry, or here in Barranquilla the mountain of people outside the stadium here when the government gives out a measly $30,000 COP ($15 USD) subsidy to families from lower economic backgrounds, and I realized that I was irritated because I have always had enough money to avoid such waiting.  Being poor (which, let's be clear, Richard and I are not) takes time.

It was a good reminder that I remain a deeply privileged person, and that such privilege rears its head in all sorts of forms - including internal disconnects when I choose not to exercise that privilege.  Don't worry about Peanut.  I have total confidence in Dr. Lily, and I am glad that someone of her care and quality attends to people in more difficult circumstances, as well as to privileged North Americans like myself.  And when we finally did get in to see her, she was pleased by how much Peanut seems to have grown and we were tickled to hear 140 beats per minute from our still en-stomached friend.

We have our first official obstetrician-gynecologist visit/interview on Tuesday, so keep up the good thoughts!